Everyone's doing it! You've probably seen it on national television! It's the first viable alternative to the traditional handshake! The multi-talented Barack Obama demonstrated it a few weeks ago and got major national news coverage. Check it out . . .
Yes, I'm talking about the fist-bump (or dap, or dat -- whichever you prefer). And while all the flak Obama caught was pretty silly, one thing the incident illustrates is that handshaking is no longer the simple, uncomplicated introductory gesture it once was. Now there are any number of ways in which you can introduce yourself. That is, if you're under 21 or are desperately trying to hold on to your youth. For the rest of us, the traditional handshake is pretty much the only way to go.
I'm sure you've heard it before -- from your Dad, your Business 101 Instructor, or maybe your first boss -- a handshake is the first (and perhaps the most important) way that you establish your identity with another person. I've actually started teaching "How to Shake Hands" in my basic communication courses (I teach at a community college) because I have found that while many of my students can perform wildly involved and intricate forms of greeting, they can't do a good handshake to save their lives.
And, lest I be accused of focusing indictment on a particular group, let's take a look at the female handshake. Sorry, I couldn't find any videos on this one, but I experienced it the other night. I went in for a shake and was met with the "half-hand" instead. Huh? What are you supposed to do with that? Kiss it? Caress it? Hold it gently and admire it's delicacy?
No! You're supposed to shake it. I would much rather shake a man's hand simply because I almost always know what to expect. The firm grip, two-pump, shake-n-bake! I'm no self-hating woman (I am a woman, by the way) I just like to know what I'm going to get. And, I'll be honest, my immediate assessment of a person is impacted by whether they register on the "Weakling Scale" when we shake hands. (I'm not even going to address the limp handshake from men -- that's just a big, fat no.)
Do yourself a favor and develop a good handshake. You don't have to break someone's hand to let them know you're serious, but you do have to establish a presence and the way you do that is to be strong and firm and assertive. Go for the full shake where your thumb joints touch. Do two good pumps and then let go. It sounds simple -- and it is. But don't underestimate the impact that a simple handshake can have on the world. Just ask Barack Obama . . .
-- Millie Shaw
No comments:
Post a Comment