Never have I ever come across a man who said to me "Libby I just wish I had more balance in my life" (and then I embrace him and we weep together over this missing piece in his life). No! It simply does not happen. So where along the way did women start using this word as a self identifier to describe the state of their lives? I believe it is a direct result from being told as growing girls that we can have it all baby if we just work hard enough. Can you imagine if we could measure and quantify the damage the "I can bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan" commercials did to girls living through the 1970's and 80's? I mean I REMEMBER the song. And I remember the commercial. And I did not have to discern it's meaning. The meaning was clear. I can do it all!
But I can't.
And I would be willing to bet you can't either. Because we can't have it all. It is in that truth I think comes the opportunity to redefine this dirty word (and the redefinition of a word is incredibly incredibly powerful and possibly life changing).
My girlfriend Jamie is a yoga enthusiast/teacher/practicer/believer and I love her. She is one of the most laid back people I have ever known. She loves life but at a slow and easy pace. She can articulate what she loves in life and she pursues those loves. I suspect on many levels her life is in fact quite balanced and from a distance I would guess that part of that is because she doesn't talk about balance. It does not allude her. It is her. Because she has chosen it. Does that mean chaos never enters her world? No. But I think no matter her conditions at the moment, she is balanced. Does that resonate? I hope so. Balance is a choice. It isn't something you go to Walmart and buy and it isn't something that you have to wait for. You choose it.
Occasionally she will post new pictures to her face book account and I want to share one with you today. She is in "full stretch" to the sky and to me it is a celebration of life, being still, being her, being connected to herself.
It is a beautiful counter image to the unattainable myth of "achieving" balance in our lives. Life is frenetic, hectic, sometimes overwhelming but there is no rule or law that prohibits us from ever stopping, no matter where we are and being in a state of full stretch.
Redefine this word for yourself and CHOOSE to BE Balanced. It is after all your choice.
1 comment:
My life these days IS balanced, but it took a few years of everyday tears: in my sleep, on my yoga mat, while driving my car, listening to any of the 6,000 songs that resonated with my soul and cracked my heart open. From the summer of 2007, when I knew I could no longer continue down the same beaten path I was on, and still today, I have been searching, pleading, begging for balance, inner peace, clarity and TRUTH. Be careful what you ask for. The road in front of me is still full of detours, distractions, carnivals, angels, snakes, full blown nightmares, and yes, small glimpes that my new path is a more authentic one, and if I can only have faith, it will continue to reveal itself to me.
I have not arrived. I no longer believe that the point of my existence is to "arrive" anywhere. It is simply my journey. Have I done a 180 in my life? Yes. I got out of the mold I was in, that I had created. I got really quiet, and started listening to what my heart was trying to tell me. It speaks to me everyday. I honor it by eating better because it wants me to live long enough to complete my tasks while I'm here. I take care of it by practicing and teaching yoga almost daily. I share the light that I feel in my heart with my students, because it's the only REAL thing I can offer them. My heart leads me to be creative, paint, cook, and open my arms to as many people as I possibly can. But I haven't arrived. I still have a very active ego. My definition of being "balanced" shifts as I shift. It is now about living from my heart, and from faith. I am excited that my life's journey is around self exploration so that I can continue to inspire other people to live from their hearts. Today it's as simple as teaching a yoga class, or cooking healthy meals for people. But as I nurture my own heart, it tells me there is SO MUCH MORE. Thank you, Libby, for feeling inspired by my life. I am equally as inspired by yours. Namaste! Jamie
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